Just tell the truth

 

Just tell the truth.

Even if you feel like you’re an honest, hard-working, trustworthy individual (as most of us do), there will be situations in which you just don’t or can’t follow through on a promise. Whether it’s attending a family event, meeting a job deadline, going out with friends, or spending an evening helping the kids with homework, invariably we find ourselves feeling no choice but to use an “untruth” (i.e., a lie) in order to avoid disappointing others. Still don’t begin the string of untruths by lying to yourself so you can sell it to others, just tell the truth.

Not some version of the truth, or part of the truth, or truth that’s technically true but isn’t the real reason for your behavior. It’s got to be, as they say, “the whole truth.”

If you do it, you’ll never again forget which excuses you made to whom, because the truth will be at the bottom of all your explanations. At an ethical level, telling the truth helps you to believe you’re a good and honest individual while allowing you to behave in ways consistent with that self-image.

Before getting to the reason for this advice, let’s look at three faux excuses that don’t measure up to the truth:

  1. The version of the truth. You were late for a meeting due to lingering too long over your latte. There was a particularly busy rush hour that day, so you offer as your excuse, “Traffic was terrible today.”
  2. Part of the truth. You don’t really want to go to the Jack-and-Jill wedding shower you were invited to, so you give as your excuse the fact that your family is coming into town that day. It is true they’re coming, but the shower will be long over by the time your folks arrive in town.
  3. Technically the truth. Some lawyers are expert at giving reasons that are true but only in the technical sense of the word. It is possible, using this logic, that you only remembered your friend’s birthday 3 days after it was over. Your excuse may be that you think it’s much better to wish someone happy birthday in person. Technically that is true, but it’s not why you missed the big day.

In each of these cases, an honest excuse would have involved some loss of face or admission of fault; you’re not perfect after all. However, you would at least be spared the burden of having to remember all the surrounding details of the excuses you gave.

When communicated in a straightforward manner, being honest about the reason for your stumble allows the other individuals involved to feel empathy with you. If you provide an explanation that makes sense—and is 100% truthful—they should be more inclined to try to understand the situation from your perspective. Everyone is late sometimes, we all forget important occasions, and plenty of us prefer a Sunday afternoon alone than in the company of people opening presents.

Reference

Barlett, C. P. (2013). Excuses, excuses: A meta‐analytic review of how mitigating information can change aggression and an exploration of moderating variables. Aggressive Behavior, 39(6), 472-481.

Copyright Susan Krauss Whitbourne 2015

 

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About iovik

Here you go! Hi, I’m not sure what I really should share in this space as I don’t want this blog to be about me (totally lol), but more about the things we study, observe and in general care about. I love digital everything with regard to marketing. I have been working in Promotions and Marketing for over 15 years mostly media, radio and entertainment corporations in New York, Baltimore, Washington and Atlanta and a producer for more than 25. I helped start the rapper/actor/producer 50 Cent aka Boo with my mentor Jam Master Jay. I oversaw the execution of his first records, “The Hit” being one to designing stickers , posters and running down DJ’s like Ron G and DJ Enuff with Dat tapes (do you remember those?). You know I need to write a book about how 50 Cent really started- so much was left out of his book so many people contributed in a major way for example the book does not mention people like K-Love (who produced Onyx) his first A&R and composer of his hottest initial records or Rob Love who would help work the promo vinyl on his own time after Def jam rejected it. To produce and manufacture 50 Cent first recording was no easy feat Def Jam did not want to spend the money on him and Jay did not have the budget, it was only after a conversation with Kenny Dichter (http://www.wheelsup.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/Kenny-Dichter-Bio.pdf) who wrote a $10,000 check to make it happen, was I able to press and promote his first single… (maybe I will blog more about those and many more stories in greater detail later). I was so excited about that record anyone who has the vinyl will see I made the matrix number my birthdate ( you know as proof just in case the kid made it big you know I did the record hardy ha ha ha). I worked with many people. I’m thankful to have big brothers and people acting like family in music early on extending favor to me like Dallas Austin and Monica T, the Browns @ Bosstown, I miss that B-room (now Stankonia by Outkast) who treated me like family (Bobby Brown’ fam especially Papa Brown and sisters- Lord bless them- nothing but love), and Spyder D (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spyder-D) who taught and later trusted me with so much. Later on I started to represent other brands moving away from branding artist and producers exclusively. I relocated to south to Florida and made a fresh start- from representing artist and bands to managing major brands from Bank of America to Kinect for Xbox 360. I enjoy writing when I can. I hope with this blog, what I write, will not only be educational but a fun interesting read, that will be my goal. But sometimes boring is just plane boring and can’t be fixed, can’t be optimized even digitally, just go with it. Remember we are all perfectly imperfect- It’s a new day, Carpe Diem! Any ole way... Here you go! DSKivoi follow me on twitter https://twitter.com/Meggastan linkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/dskivoi Facebook http://www.facebook.com/ioviksmm Skype: D.S.Kivoi
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